Hidden Memories
Met a 90 yr old patient today who was still holding grudges against his wife who had died 20 yrs ago. Set me thinking…how much of our memory is occupied with those of people significant or otherwise to us, who have intentionally/unintentionally hurt us @ some point of our lives.
I still remember how mad I was @ the lady who almost pushed me off the seat in a local train in Mumbai when I was in college. I remember Rao madam who made my life miserable when I was doing my 2nd yr of undergrad studies. I remember the hurt I felt 20 yrs ago when I wasn’t invited to a bday party.
They all seem totally irrelevant and insignificant now, but somehow the synapses that were fired in my neuronal pathway seem to be filed somewhere, without being deleted.
Not that I go thro these memories frequently, but during random reminiscing, I am sometimes surprised @ the unpleasantness that still lingers with some. And it bothers me ……. if I cannot let go of these insignificant memories or at least the feelings associated with them, how am I ever going to get over other significant baggage in life? Memories are supposed to fade away……....and most of them do. I don’t want to ever be that old man I met today.
posted by second_wind @ 10:14 PM
15 Comments:
Hmmm..you know thats the beauty of the human mind. One can tuck away all these little memories in a corner, and face bigger troubles. Just because these memories are small, they are not necessarily insignificant. But then again some of these grudges are so trivial! You know...as for the 90 year old man, he atleast had someone to hold a grudge against :P ok I am gonna go now.
Btw, you a doctor...Coolness :)
I am fascinated by the human mind, I love the associations it makes and keeps and pulls out every now and then. They do say that the stronger the emotion you felt at that time, the deeper is that incident etched into your memory. I don't care how much and what is stores as long as it does not keep the affect attached to the incident (well for most part anyway). I think the events are useful, because they help to shape you in some ways, depending on how you dealt with it. The affect or the emotion wears off sooner or later- and I think the beauty of it is that we can then attach whatever emotion we want to that memory or keep changing it for that matter.....well, thats all I should say before I turn into Cameron Crowe and pry into the abyss of the mind.
@CT - i think you are rt about us beings able to face bigger troubles...i guess coz the effort we put into it is also probably much more. Am not a doctor ....
@amsy - well put, amiga !
i have an analogy... etched memories are like email addresses... some stored in your address book and others on your ignore spam list... they exist because you want more of some and no more of the rest...
wonder how i come up with such crap !!! happy blogging though...
Memories, memories..!
Its not just the memories from anger/dispair, there are many more pleasant n cheerful memories we have in our minds....Its in a way good that our brain remembers all these...If not, I wouldn't have had anything to do when having coffe (or to that matter any spare time when we want to retrospect) some, that we dont care about, are volatile and some get etched in our minds as Amsy said...What ever we remember am sure would effect us in someway through out our life...
And about that old man, well, having a grudge is alright, as long as it does not harm you/anyone to that matter...Let me quote this here:Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Forgive and Forget....
And yeah, I would never want to be that man...
You've been tagged! Do try it, it's fun! And of course, we'll get to see the poet in you. :)
I call that my pandora's box which open up and burdens me with my baggage... when I am least prepared... but I am learning to deal with it..
Forgiveness.. firstly.. to self.. and then to others is a good way to begin since we judge ourselves ever too harshly.. :)
@shank: that is a good analogy .... wish the hard disc would automatically empty the unnecessary data
@anon: anger ....... no good comes out of it ever
@pallavi: that is indeed the hardest thing to do......it takes conscious effort to go easy on yourself or sometimes on the opposite end - not to feel sorry for yourself
Sometimes, the bitterness remains.
Thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting. Look forward to seeing you around.
You bet, some memories just don't fade away. They are right there, beneath the surface, lurking to prowl on you.
What I think is important, then, is to aknowledge that they exist and being prepared to tackle them, should they surface.
@a - thank you for coming by.To get rid of that bitterness is what I would like.
@nishit - Thank you for coming by. Very true what u said.
beautiful post, reminds me of a song:
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face
Thanks zypsy.
my two cents...
the bitterness should fade away with time... the sad memories, however diminished they are, remain forever...
in time you will experiece some happier moments (of similar situations) which should push the bad memories to the back of your mind... cherish the happier memories...
two cents of wisdom...very well expressed
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